Beyond the Dance Floor: Ballroom Dance Etiquette and Life Skills

Instructor Jake Famme and student Didi taking a graceful bow at the Summit Dancesport Competition."

Introduction:

As a child and even into my adolescence, I was the epitome of the phrase "wallflower." I was shy, socially awkward, and I found it challenging to engage with others in a meaningful way. This isn't an uncommon narrative; many of us struggle with the fear of social interaction at some point in our lives. However, my personal journey took an interesting turn when I discovered the world of ballroom dance.

Beyond the sequins, the rhythm, and the fluid movement, I found something truly transformative within this disciplined form of dance. It was an arena that not only required interaction with others but was built upon it. As I took my first uncertain steps on the dance floor, I began to realize that ballroom dance wasn't just teaching me to waltz or tango, it was equipping me with vital life skills. It was refining my social etiquette, enhancing my communication abilities, and honing my teamwork skills. It was teaching me about respect, patience, and even how to handle rejection gracefully. Today, I am excited to delve deeper into how the elegance and discipline of ballroom dance are not merely steps and movements but crucial life lessons disguised in rhythm and grace.

Respect and Courtesy:

One of the first and foremost principles ingrained in any ballroom dance student is the notion of respect and courtesy. These concepts permeate every aspect of this dance form. From the respectful nod to your partner before you begin your routine to the polite applause for your fellow dancers at the end of a competition, every gesture underscores the value of respect and courtesy. This awareness extends not only to your dance partner but to every individual sharing the dance floor with you.

It's a lesson that beautifully translates to life beyond the dance floor. In a professional setting, respect and courtesy create a conducive environment for growth and productivity. Just like on the dance floor, acknowledging and valuing everyone's contributions, regardless of their role or position, fosters teamwork and collective success. The ability to engage with colleagues, superiors, and subordinates alike in a respectful and considerate manner is a sought-after trait in any industry.

In our personal lives, the significance of these values is magnified. Whether it's interacting with family, friends, or even strangers, a respectful and courteous approach opens the door to meaningful and enduring relationships. It encourages a healthy exchange of ideas, fosters mutual understanding, and often, it's the glue that holds relationships together during challenging times. Ballroom dance might seem like an unlikely teacher for these life skills, but its lessons are deeply impactful, affecting every interaction in our lives and helping us navigate the dance of life with grace and dignity.

Communication:

If dance is a language, then ballroom is a dialogue. Verbal communication may be second nature to most, but the beauty of ballroom dance lies in its emphasis on non-verbal communication. It's not simply about executing steps perfectly; it's about communicating a story, an emotion, or a shared experience through movement. As dancers, we rely heavily on our body language to interpret the music and convey our interpretations to our partners and the audience. The subtleties of a held gaze, the firm yet gentle hold, or even the rhythmic coordination of our steps become our vocabulary in this silent conversation.

I often highlight to my students the critical importance of non-verbal cues beyond the dance floor as well. How we present ourselves, our body posture, our reactions to different situations - these are all silent yet potent forms of communication. Take a dance competition, for example: how a dancer enters and exits the dance floor or reacts to the results can leave a lasting impression. It's not always about winning or losing, but the demeanor that we maintain throughout.

This lesson proves invaluable in both professional and personal spheres. In a business meeting, for example, assertive body language can convey confidence and credibility. Similarly, in personal relationships, our non-verbal cues can express empathy, interest, and understanding. Learning to master non-verbal communication through ballroom dance, therefore, equips us with an enriched toolkit for interpersonal interactions, enabling us to communicate more effectively in all areas of life.

Discipline and Patience:

One cannot speak of dance without mentioning discipline and patience - two core pillars that define this beautiful art form. To gracefully execute intricate footwork, to seamlessly move in sync with a partner, to eloquently express a piece of music through movement - none of these come overnight. They are the result of countless hours spent practicing, refining, and perfecting. The commitment to mastering the techniques and the patience to continuously learn are fundamental in every dancer's journey.

I've seen the transformative impact of these lessons on my own journey, both as a dancer and as a dance instructor. Teaching dance has its own set of unique challenges, one of which is managing the pace of learning. There can be a temptation to push a student beyond their capabilities in pursuit of rapid progress. However, as an instructor, I've learned the importance of acknowledging that every student is on their own unique journey. It's crucial to respect that pace and to be patient as they develop their skills.

Applying this discipline and patience beyond the dance floor can have profound effects on our lives. It teaches us to take our time, to embrace the process of learning, and to patiently work towards our goals. These are valuable lessons that can help us navigate various aspects of life, be it pursuing a career, nurturing relationships, or even embarking on personal projects. By instilling discipline and patience, ballroom dance teaches us not just how to move, but also how to live.

Posture and Poise:

A fundamental aspect of dance that often goes under-appreciated is the importance of posture and poise. It's probably safe to say that most of us have heard the words "Sit up straight!" uttered by a concerned parent or teacher at some point in our lives. This concern for posture, while sometimes shrugged off as a mere aesthetic consideration, is deeply rooted in the world of dance. In fact, proper posture is often one of the first lessons a new dancer learns.

Ballroom dance does more than just teach you to stand tall; it instills a sense of confidence that can permeate throughout your daily life. Imagine walking into a job interview: your resume can demonstrate your skills and experience, but the confidence you exhibit as you enter the room, maintaining eye contact and offering a firm handshake, speaks volumes about your personality before you've even spoken a word.

The same principle applies on the dance floor. Judges at dance competitions are just as human as the rest of us, and a dancer's presence is often noted as soon as they step onto the floor. A dancer with good posture and poise exudes a certain level of confidence that can influence perceptions.

Beyond the realm of first impressions and aesthetics, maintaining good posture also carries significant health benefits. It can help prevent back pain, enhance breathing, and even improve mental wellbeing. In essence, good posture isn't just about looking good; it's about feeling good, too. Through dance, we learn to carry ourselves with grace, both on the dance floor and in life.

Teamwork:

Navigating the intricate world of teamwork can be a challenging endeavor, but it's a critical skill that ballroom dance hones to perfection. Like any other partnership-based activity, ballroom dancing hinges on the ability of two individuals to synchronize their efforts towards a common goal. Whether that goal is to win a dance competition or simply to improve, the act of striving together breeds a special kind of synergy.

In the context of a dance, every step, turn, and flourish is a testament to the bond between partners. Each dancer must be mindful of their partner's movements, adapting and responding to them in real-time. This requires not just physical coordination but a deep understanding of your partner's strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. The dance floor thus becomes a melting pot of communication, collaboration, and mutual respect.

This teamwork dynamic isn't confined to the dance floor, however. Many of us will have encountered group projects or team-based tasks in our work or academic lives. In these situations, being able to work effectively with others—integrating a diversity of skills, balancing responsibilities, and harmonizing different personalities—is crucial for success. The parallels between the dance partnership and the work team are striking, and the lessons learned from each can be mutually beneficial.

So, whether you're aiming to win a dance competition or striving to ace a group project, the teamwork skills developed through ballroom dance can provide an invaluable edge. The dance floor may just be the perfect training ground for mastering the art of collaboration.

Dealing with Rejection:

Ballroom dance offers an unfiltered lesson in managing rejection, a skill that carries immeasurable worth in all walks of life. Competitions are the crucible of the dance world, where the culmination of hard work, dedication, and passion are put to the test. However, not every dance can end in victory, and there will inevitably be moments where our best efforts simply aren't enough to secure a win. These instances of defeat can be tough to process, but they also provide us with the opportunity to grow, to build resilience, and to fortify our determination.

When faced with such rejection, the question isn't about whether we lose, but how we handle that loss. Do we let it shatter our confidence, or do we view it as a stepping stone towards improvement? The ability to handle rejection with grace, to view it not as a failure but as a learning experience, is a trait that ballroom dance instills in its students.

This life lesson extends far beyond the dance floor. Whether it's job applications, relationships, or personal goals, life is often a series of attempts, and inevitably, some of those attempts will end in rejection. However, each rejection brings us one step closer to a future success. As the saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

In the grand scheme of things, rejection is not an endpoint, but a stepping stone on the path to success. Ballroom dance taught me to embrace rejection as part of my journey, a lesson that I've carried into every aspect of my life. And as painful as it may be at times, I firmly believe that it is through these moments of defeat that we truly learn to dance.

Conclusion:

Reflecting on my own journey from a shy, socially awkward individual to a confident dancer and instructor, I can say without a doubt that the dance floor has been my greatest classroom. It’s on this stage that I've learned invaluable lessons about respect, communication, discipline, poise, teamwork, and dealing with rejection—lessons that extend far beyond the rhythm and the steps, seeping into every aspect of my personal and professional life.

Ballroom dance is not just about perfecting the art of moving to the rhythm of music; it's about cultivating a mindset and acquiring life skills that enable us to navigate the world with confidence, grace, and resilience. The transformation it induces is profound and far-reaching, shaping us into individuals who are better equipped to handle life's ups and downs.

So whether you are considering learning ballroom dance or you're already on this journey, remember: Every step, every spin, and every misstep on the dance floor is a chance to grow, to improve, and to become the best version of ourselves.

As we step into the spotlight, let's remind ourselves that we're not just dancers; we are perpetual students learning valuable lessons about life. Now, I invite you to step onto the dance floor, embrace the rhythm, and let the dance begin. Leave a comment below and share your dance experiences and the life lessons it has imparted to you. And don’t forget to share this post with others who might benefit from it. Let’s dance, learn, and grow together!

Learning Life's Rhythm: Lessons from My Dance Idol, Derek Hough

Got to pick up Derek Hough!

Meeting Derek - The Dream Come True

The experience of meeting Derek was surreal and unfolded in two memorable instances. The first time, during his show, I not only had the opportunity to watch him perform live, but I also got to record a TikTok video with him. We did the viral "Coincidence" routine, a moment that left me breathless, more-so because I got to lift Derek Hough - a moment any dancer would covet. The second instance was after a dance competition, My students joined me at the show. One of them joined me for the backstage experience. To our delight, she had the opportunity to dance a Hustle with Derek, while I was thrilled to perform a side-by-side jive routine with him. Having a one-on-one conversation with Derek was surreal, and his down-to-earth demeanor made the encounter even more special. The cherry on top, however, was the Q&A session, where I could delve deeper into his dance philosophy and career journey.

Staying In Peak Performance - Derek’s Wisdom:

One of the pressing questions I had for Derek was how he maintained his physical peak performance. His answer was simple but profound: personal ritual, energy management, and proper nutrition. Derek stressed the importance of having routines that prepare your body and mind for rigorous activity, like a warm-up ritual or a regular exercise routine. Checking your energy levels and aligning them with your activities is crucial, he said. Lastly, he emphasized how consistent, nutritious eating habits fuel performance, highlighting the significance of treating your body as your most important instrument.

Choreographing With Energy - Derek's Approach:

When asked about choreography and overcoming mental blocks, Derek offered insightful advice. He emphasized that it's unproductive to develop choreography when you're in a low-energy or heightened emotional state. The story we wish to tell through our movement should align with our energy at the moment. Sometimes, inspiration could be as simple as designing the dance around a captivating costume or a unique prop, reminding us that creativity often lies in unexpected places.

The Most Profound Advice - Derek’s Life Lesson:

The most profound advice Derek shared came from his own mentors. He talked about the need to comprehend the energy we put out into the world. As dancers, we connect with people's emotions through our movement. Hence, we must be conscientious about the energy we embody and the influence we wield. Derek also shared a personal anecdote about competing in the U.K., where he recognized he wasn't the best dancer, but he had the audacity to show up and compete anyway. This lesson of resilience and self-belief has stayed with me.

Overcoming Adversity

My dance journey hasn't always been a smooth waltz across the ballroom. There were moments when I faced harsh criticism, moments that left me doubting my abilities. Particularly painful were instances when these doubts were sown by individuals I once considered mentors, people I looked up to in the dance world. I was told things like "you can't even dance" or "you will amount to nothing." It's a jarring experience to hear such negativity from those you respect and seek guidance from. The echoes of their words lingered, their sting piercing deeper because of the admiration I had for these individuals. The hurt was intense, but I realized that I had to move past these moments of self-doubt. It wasn't easy, but I had to remind myself that every dancer has a unique journey, and this was part of mine. I chose to continue dancing, not for the approval of others, but for the love of dance itself. It's in those moments of despair that Derek's wisdom resonated with me the most. "Be the person who sticks it out till the end," he said. So, here I am, sticking it out, for the love of dance.

Conclusion:

Meeting Derek Hough was not just a fan moment for me; it was a life-changing experience. Unlike my previous encounters with idols, which left me disheartened, Derek’s authenticity and encouragement have further ignited my passion for dance. They say, "don't meet your heroes," but I'm incredibly grateful I met mine, Derek Hough, who has given me more than I could have ever anticipated.

I’d love to hear your stories! Have you ever met your idols or have their wisdom influenced you? How have you persevered in the face of adversity? Please share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below. Let's inspire each other to keep dancing through life's challenges, one step at a time.